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Deviation Actions
Literature Text
"Welcome to Croony Moony, the finest club and restaurant in Marloweville! Step right in ma'am, may I take your umbrella and coat?" The woman flashed a million berry smile at the prim and proper doorman. His spotless red vest matched the colorful interior enough to make one squint. Cigar smoke drifted out the open door. You stood outside in the pattering rain. A cartoon moon in a slinky dress winked at you from the sign over the entrance. This woman is the fourth in line laying it on thick with the ignorant doorman.
"Why, thank you kind sir." She slipped off her dripping coat casually, captivating the unprofessional ogling of the doorman. Arms crossed themselves over your chest. Your finger beat itself against your arm.
This is taking forever; the line was full of chicks like this. I don't even mind standing in the rain, and I'm annoyed! Vito's been waiting for fifteen minutes now. The woman playfully adjusted her stocking in front of him, making his eyes pop. Her dress hardly made it to her mid-thigh. She hardly had to pull it up.
"Lady, he likes you. Get a move on!" The doorman snapped his head over to notice you were there. The woman eyes swelled with reproach. She pursed her lips at you, thinking it might get you to apologize or some other fool thing. You only glared at the bimbo. She strutted off in a huff.
"Sir, I-" So many people respond to your appearance with a frightened gulp. It was getting old by now. You are infamous except as 'that weirdo that lives in the swamp' or, in this city, as 'the guy without an umbrella.' Those who did know of you called you The Shadow and knew that you would do anything for anyone if they had the berries. The Shadow is the one you need if no one needs to know about it; a professional assassin at the age of twenty with loyalty to no one but yourself.
"I-I am so sorry, may I take your umbrella?" You stared at him, withholding murderous rage behind a blink.
"Are you blind to everything but desperate women?" He looked lost, his mind on another island, with no clue what you were saying. You waved your open hands in front of him. "I don't have an umbrella!" Dumbass perv. The doorman stood there, clueless.
"Oh... Uh, may I take your coat-"
"Hell, no. My friend is waiting for me, under the name of the Capone family?" Somewhere in the doorman's empty head, a dim light bulb appeared.
"Of course, sir!" He spluttered quickly. Everyone on Noir Island knows better than to mess with the Capone family, otherwise known as the Firetank Gang. They owned more than half the island, including most of the swamp you live in.
"Your friend is seated in the third booth from the back, on the left!" That might be the first helpful thing he's done...
"What happened to Carl? He remembers me, he just lets me right in." I actually like Carl, he knows better. And he doesn't make a big deal about my never having an umbrella.
"Out with a cold, sir," stammered the doorman. You fix your collar and push your glasses into place. You don't want to look at that fool anymore.
"Send him my best." Had that whole ordeal not happened, the new guy might wonder why your coat is completely dry. Only a Waterman can walk into a building on this island and be completely dry.
Inside, three levels of candlelit tables surrounded a stage. A band in stark white suits poured out their souls into instruments as the demure singer sang softly into the Den Den Mushi microphone. A snail at the foot of the pole wore a matching sequined dress and makeup. The faces the Den Den Mushi make here are the funniest things I had ever seen. A seductress snail... Fantastic. A few of the people quietly chatting and drinking must've caught sight of your smile. Somewhere in the crowd, two rich folks made a sound like their drink decided to go the wrong way. Not that you had any control over that... Your smile is as sharp as a sword. Only half as lethal.
Off to the left sat a dining area(boasting the best steaks in town) and a larger portion of the bar. Vito always picked this side for that very reason; he's a big drinker. The man is a six-foot bottle of sake, half full of it. As a member of the Capone family, he also got the best seat in the house: right in front of the singer. Close enough to see the holes in her hose, the sparkle of each sequin. The boisterous gangster also had the privilege of wearing his fedora inside without reproach. He turned and flashed a toothy grin at you, two gold teeth as big as playing cards shining brightly like a glossy pair of aces.
"Hey dere, (Name)!" Vito boomed. "What's da news?"
"You're more drunk than usual, Vito," you observed.
"Wid a good reason bub! I've finally got a pro doin' my dirty work." The man slapped his hand on my shoulder. You used to ask him to stop, but he never remembers. Vito is good at what he does, he just lacks a sense of discretion or composure about being the son of a crime lord. As you sat, you saw the nearly full sake bottle in his hand. An empty one sat at the table, fearing Vito's wild gesticulations would smash it to the floor.
"Ya took forever, mack! What kept you?" His flushed, smiling face is rarely not so. You could only take being around him in small doses of his never-ending cheeriness. The stink of alcohol is the easy part to deal with.
"The doorman is some new guy, and I was behind a bunch of dames. By dames, I mean bimbos." Vito just guffawed and took another swig of sake. "He's not even that good looking, but they were all giving him a show! The job didn't take half as long," you growled. Vito lowered his voice for an earnest moment.
"Now about da job... Ya didn't hurt him dijya?"
"You asked me not to,' you stated calmly. "My only victim was a pair of pants." Vito looked at you, confused. You tried to hold back a smile that might scare your current client, but you can't resist. "I scared the shit out of the poor guy." The drunkard before you chuckled nervously.
"Well, as long as you reminded him who he belongs to." Vito took another sip of his liquid courage.
"He's giving you a full reimbursement on your ships cannons, no worries," you assured coldly. "So, what did you find out about the whereabout of the Straw Hat pirates?" Vito lowered his bottle and opened up a briefcase he had on the seat next to him. He handed you a few photographs, the first one of a boat falling from the sky. Weird, but it's been known to happen around here. The funny part is that they're not skeletons on a rotting ship.
"Dose Straw Hats were most recently seen by our boys on dere ship... falling outta da clouds wid an octopus balloon to keep em from smashin' into da ocean!" you were dubious at first, but sure enough, the next photograph contained the huge octopus and the dot that was their flying boat.
"Where were these taken, Vito?"
"Between here and dat Marine base, G-8." The next photo showed their boat, a smiling goat's head adorning the front and someone with a straw hat sitting on top of it. You pointed at it.
"Is that...?"
"Monkey D. Luffy. 100,000,000 berry bounty. Zoro's and da rest o' da Straw Hats' captain. Funny how you two are part o' da 'Worst Generation', but your bounty isn't even half of his, just 36,000,000 berries," Vito chuckled. You gave him a look and he checked himself.
"My bounty would be five times his if I paraded around like pirates do, possibly more if I wasn't sanctioned by a Warlord of the Sea from time to time." Vito was at a loss for words, tugging at his collar.
"You mean to say... You've been hired by da World Government??" You just barely nodded.
"But I never said so. Anyhow, where are the Straw Hats now?"
"Uh, they were headed further down the Grand Line last we saw. Long Long Island, Victorian Island, only their log pose knows-" he was interrupted by a commotion at the front door.
"Where's the meat??? The sign says you guys have the best meat!!!"
"Whassa matta wid dat guy?" slurred Vito as he got up. The crooner sang louder, trying to get the enjoyment of the evening back, but everyone was craning their necks to look at the noise. You could just make out the doorman pleading over the club patrons expressing polite outrage.
"Sir we have a dress code here, I'm going to have to ask you to button up your suit-"
"I'm going to be KING of the pirates!!! I want the best meat in the city!!"
Bonk! A young orange-haired woman looming behind the yelling boy had pummeled him with her fist.
"Luffy, just shut up so they let us in!" Like a flip of a switch, she pouted at the doorman, speaking sweetly. "I'm so sorry about that sir, my friend here got a little drunk earlier and he's a big pain to begin with..."
"Stop lying, Nami! I'm not drunk!" shouted Luffy.
"He always says that when he's drunk. You know how it is," winked Nami.
"No problem ma'am, we get that every now and then," replied the doorman far too eagerly. "Welcome to Croony Moony! May I take your umbrellas?" The group with her had already pushed passed him, but an average looking guy(among them, he's the only one wearing a suit that fits and he's the only one smoking) with blonde hair waved to him.
"No need! We have none, thank you, sir." The doorman looked lost once again, unsure of what to do with people that acted like me. A dark haired woman in the group looked all around as they found a larger table for themselves.
"How interesting. It seems that this whole island has adopted the culture of detective novels. You fit in very well, Sanji-kun." The blonde man zipped over to pull out a chair for the woman, his eye under a curly eyebrow turning into a heart.
"Thank you, Robin-swan!!!" he exclaimed. The man then puffed his cigarette and returned to his reserved demeanor. "I hope the sign was right, the king of the pirates might empty their kitchen if he isn't satisfied. At least it won't be my kitchen." He then rushed over to pull out the chair for the other girl. "Allow me, Nami-swan!!"
You tapped into your keen powers of perception and gazed at the next photo, taken from a spy bird. The Straw Hats, going about their business on the deck of their boat. The captain, Luffy, once again sitting on the goat head. Nami, orange hair shining as she adjusted the sail. Robin relaxed with a book while... a third hand stirred her tea, sprouting from the table it sat on. That must be the Flower Flower Fruit; you read about it some time ago. The blonde man, Sanji, offering a platter of snacks to Robin. A small creature, some kind of raccoon dog with antlers sprouting out of a large pink hat at next to a skinny teen in overalls, the two of them fishing together.
You looked up to the rowdy group of pirates continuing to disrupt everyone's evening(which entertained you to no end). There's the long-nosed fellow, but the only one here I don't see at the table is that raccoon dog... The long-nosed guy was chatting with a mysterious beast of a man sitting next to him.
"...and then, the great Captain Usopp commanded his crew to reel in the Kraken! 'It is time for breakfast!' I told them all, and that was the day I had the best sushi!" Ah, so the lying fisherman is Usopp. That huge guy believes every word, what kind of fool is he? I can tell the firaherman is lying from twenty feet away!
"Wow, Usopp! How did it taste??" asked the immense fellow with the voice of a young teen. For someone so large, he sounds almost like a child.
"Well, Chopper, uh... It tasted like... victory!" stuttered Usopp.
"Keep it down, you two!" Nami urged, barely audible. "You'll get us kicked out!" Dammit, now I can't hear them.
So, the beast man's name is Chopper... You then noticed Chopper wore a hat just like the raccoon dog's, pink with antlers. They both also sport a bright blue nose... Chopper is a Zoan type! Also a reindeer... I thought the antlers were part of the hat. No devil fruit you know would give someone a blue reindeer nose, so he must be an actual reindeer that ate a... Human Human Fruit. That's a new one. No human would ever know about it, they would think it was a dud. That book about 'useless' devil fruits might have some more to say about it. You looked for the seventh one, the swordsman you were hired to take care of. There he is in the photo, dozing at the foot of the mast, but you couldn't see a sign of the green-haired menace at the table.
The last photo in the stack was a picture seen on many bulletin boards across the world. You recognize it as the image used in all of his Wanted posters, usually framed by the words "Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. WANTED, Dead or Alive." This must be a copy of the original, the quality was much better than you've ever seen. His angular face was dripping with blood, his steely gaze almost intimidating. This is the one man that might be more unforgivably ruthless than you. Something about that look resounded in your memory, youve seen it before, in person. Up close, but in passing... Until you remember, you have nowhere to look. Except here.
"What a bunch o' weirdos," muttered Vito, taking his seat and a swig of sake. "Pirates... whatcha gonna do. I'm glad Father is gonna bring some class to da seas. Anyway, (Name), those Straw Hats could be anywhere by now."
"I think I have a clue about where they might be," you stated.
"Where?" You showed him the photo of them.
"Great, we know dey're on da Grand Line." Your palm and your face met to discuss your frustration.
"Vito, don't tell me just because those guys are dressed up that you don't recognize them."
"Who?"
"The pirates at the table! Those are the Straw Hats!" Vito was dumbfounded. He peered back at them, then at the photo while you rolled your eyes.
"Oh, yeah." THIS is why I talk to Dragon's friends to get information. Vito is consistently more wasted than helpful. You stared at the empty sake bottle, thinking of a plan while the brain of your pal from the Capone family caught up to the situation.
"Hey, where's dat Zoro guy?" he asked suddenly. You point a finger at him.
"You owe me the answer to that very question," you accused.
"Dose pictures are all we knew before now! Whaddaya want me to do?" You smiled, sending shivers down Vito's spine.
"First, finish that bottle so you get the temptation to have more out of your system." He downed the remainder in a single gulp.
"No prob'm mack. What else?" It's nice having other people do what I say for a change, I need to have more people owe me things.
"Bear with me Vito, 'cause this is a little crazy."
"That's okay, so am I!" Vito guffawed at his own joke. You blinked and politely waited. "Sorry, (Name), I'm listening." You flash a curt smile.
"I need you to chat Luffy up. Welcome the Straw Hats to Marloweville and the island. After you've dispensed all the niceties you can think of, take us outside. Meanwhile... I will be in this bottle, listening in. The crew is sure to discuss their missing crew member. If they don't, I'll vibrate the bottle, and you need to ask them about Zoro, very subtly. Can you do that?"
"Sure, (Name)." Your belief in him is dubious at best, but he's all you have to work with. And you found out the hard way a long time ago that yes, a room full of people will notice a moving puddle. The rich people here will ask someone to mop you up before you trip someone.
"And Vito?"
"Yeah?"
"Please. Don't drink me," you urged.
"Right, of course not." You glared at his flippant expression, as you set the empty bottle under the table.
"Just imagine that the bottle is full of acid."
"Alright, alright! Wait, how are you gonna hear without ears?" You shrugged at him.
"Dunno, I just can. But I still can't swim." You made sure no one was watching, peering lastly at the crooner and ducked under the table. You stick your watery thumb in the bottle, hardly distinguishable from the water form you are becoming. Soon you filled the bottle up to the neck to deter questions. Ugh, even as water, this makes me feel claustrophobic. At least I don't get motion sickness.
Vito snatched up the bottle, looking oddly at it before swaggering and staggering to the Straw Hats' table. The waiter had just dropped off the food, and they are all digging in except for the polite Sanji. The waiter was trying so hard to be kind while their captain inhaled multiple steaks.
"If you pir- people... need anything else, just let me know."
"Thank you for the meal, Richard," Said Sanji to the bowing waiter.
"Mmeah, ffanks, Richy," mumbled Luffy, although you could hardly tell that's what he said. The waiter politely nodded and smiled at him before striding away at top speed. Vito waltzed up to Luffy, who is tackling a tower of steaks. He swung the bottle carelessly at his side, swishing you around.
"Hey dere, my name is Vito Capone. A big welcome to Marloweville from da Capone family! " The group looked at each other, uncertain of this random greeting from a total stranger.
"Who's that?" mumbled Luffy. Vito was confounded, having never heard that phrase before on his own island.
"Oh, we're a group of businessman, like yourselves," he hinted. Luffy had swallowed before he inquired, "You mean pirates?"
"Not quite, The Firetank Gang is on its way there, but we're more da homebody type y'see. This beautiful club, most of the best places uptown are protected by my... associates. As the son of Father Capone, I hope we can agree to keep it that way." The two buffoons looked at each other blankly, unsure of what to say or lacking any more words to say. That last bit was the most eloquent thing you've heard Vito say. The rest of the table sat watching and eating. All of them look worn out. Braving and surviving the White Sea must've been hell.
"Sure, we just came here to eat and relax," stated Luffy.
"Dat's great... uh, enjoy. Oh and watch out for da Iceboat Gang, dey're our rivals. Dey are no good, mack. Stay clear o' dem." Dammit, this isn't working at all, he'll just have to ask. You flexed the tension in your liquid form, vibrating the bottle.
"Oh! I, I uh, almost forgot! Aren't dere, uh, more o' yas?" stammered Vito. I swear gorillas have more tact...
The captain of the Strawhats responded with a hearty "Shishishi!" of laughter.
"Yep but Zoro got lost again!" The boy continued to laugh as he ate. The crew cast knowing looks at each other, giggling. "He's gonna be the best swordsman in the world, but he get's lost whenever he goes anywhere alone!"
"I'm very sorry bout dat, uh... If ya want, I can talk to da boys and have 'em keep an eye peeled for him," offered the 'businessman. The captain beamed a smile at him.
"You're a nice guy Vito! Thanks!"
"Why, thank you kind sir." She slipped off her dripping coat casually, captivating the unprofessional ogling of the doorman. Arms crossed themselves over your chest. Your finger beat itself against your arm.
This is taking forever; the line was full of chicks like this. I don't even mind standing in the rain, and I'm annoyed! Vito's been waiting for fifteen minutes now. The woman playfully adjusted her stocking in front of him, making his eyes pop. Her dress hardly made it to her mid-thigh. She hardly had to pull it up.
"Lady, he likes you. Get a move on!" The doorman snapped his head over to notice you were there. The woman eyes swelled with reproach. She pursed her lips at you, thinking it might get you to apologize or some other fool thing. You only glared at the bimbo. She strutted off in a huff.
"Sir, I-" So many people respond to your appearance with a frightened gulp. It was getting old by now. You are infamous except as 'that weirdo that lives in the swamp' or, in this city, as 'the guy without an umbrella.' Those who did know of you called you The Shadow and knew that you would do anything for anyone if they had the berries. The Shadow is the one you need if no one needs to know about it; a professional assassin at the age of twenty with loyalty to no one but yourself.
"I-I am so sorry, may I take your umbrella?" You stared at him, withholding murderous rage behind a blink.
"Are you blind to everything but desperate women?" He looked lost, his mind on another island, with no clue what you were saying. You waved your open hands in front of him. "I don't have an umbrella!" Dumbass perv. The doorman stood there, clueless.
"Oh... Uh, may I take your coat-"
"Hell, no. My friend is waiting for me, under the name of the Capone family?" Somewhere in the doorman's empty head, a dim light bulb appeared.
"Of course, sir!" He spluttered quickly. Everyone on Noir Island knows better than to mess with the Capone family, otherwise known as the Firetank Gang. They owned more than half the island, including most of the swamp you live in.
"Your friend is seated in the third booth from the back, on the left!" That might be the first helpful thing he's done...
"What happened to Carl? He remembers me, he just lets me right in." I actually like Carl, he knows better. And he doesn't make a big deal about my never having an umbrella.
"Out with a cold, sir," stammered the doorman. You fix your collar and push your glasses into place. You don't want to look at that fool anymore.
"Send him my best." Had that whole ordeal not happened, the new guy might wonder why your coat is completely dry. Only a Waterman can walk into a building on this island and be completely dry.
Inside, three levels of candlelit tables surrounded a stage. A band in stark white suits poured out their souls into instruments as the demure singer sang softly into the Den Den Mushi microphone. A snail at the foot of the pole wore a matching sequined dress and makeup. The faces the Den Den Mushi make here are the funniest things I had ever seen. A seductress snail... Fantastic. A few of the people quietly chatting and drinking must've caught sight of your smile. Somewhere in the crowd, two rich folks made a sound like their drink decided to go the wrong way. Not that you had any control over that... Your smile is as sharp as a sword. Only half as lethal.
Off to the left sat a dining area(boasting the best steaks in town) and a larger portion of the bar. Vito always picked this side for that very reason; he's a big drinker. The man is a six-foot bottle of sake, half full of it. As a member of the Capone family, he also got the best seat in the house: right in front of the singer. Close enough to see the holes in her hose, the sparkle of each sequin. The boisterous gangster also had the privilege of wearing his fedora inside without reproach. He turned and flashed a toothy grin at you, two gold teeth as big as playing cards shining brightly like a glossy pair of aces.
"Hey dere, (Name)!" Vito boomed. "What's da news?"
"You're more drunk than usual, Vito," you observed.
"Wid a good reason bub! I've finally got a pro doin' my dirty work." The man slapped his hand on my shoulder. You used to ask him to stop, but he never remembers. Vito is good at what he does, he just lacks a sense of discretion or composure about being the son of a crime lord. As you sat, you saw the nearly full sake bottle in his hand. An empty one sat at the table, fearing Vito's wild gesticulations would smash it to the floor.
"Ya took forever, mack! What kept you?" His flushed, smiling face is rarely not so. You could only take being around him in small doses of his never-ending cheeriness. The stink of alcohol is the easy part to deal with.
"The doorman is some new guy, and I was behind a bunch of dames. By dames, I mean bimbos." Vito just guffawed and took another swig of sake. "He's not even that good looking, but they were all giving him a show! The job didn't take half as long," you growled. Vito lowered his voice for an earnest moment.
"Now about da job... Ya didn't hurt him dijya?"
"You asked me not to,' you stated calmly. "My only victim was a pair of pants." Vito looked at you, confused. You tried to hold back a smile that might scare your current client, but you can't resist. "I scared the shit out of the poor guy." The drunkard before you chuckled nervously.
"Well, as long as you reminded him who he belongs to." Vito took another sip of his liquid courage.
"He's giving you a full reimbursement on your ships cannons, no worries," you assured coldly. "So, what did you find out about the whereabout of the Straw Hat pirates?" Vito lowered his bottle and opened up a briefcase he had on the seat next to him. He handed you a few photographs, the first one of a boat falling from the sky. Weird, but it's been known to happen around here. The funny part is that they're not skeletons on a rotting ship.
"Dose Straw Hats were most recently seen by our boys on dere ship... falling outta da clouds wid an octopus balloon to keep em from smashin' into da ocean!" you were dubious at first, but sure enough, the next photograph contained the huge octopus and the dot that was their flying boat.
"Where were these taken, Vito?"
"Between here and dat Marine base, G-8." The next photo showed their boat, a smiling goat's head adorning the front and someone with a straw hat sitting on top of it. You pointed at it.
"Is that...?"
"Monkey D. Luffy. 100,000,000 berry bounty. Zoro's and da rest o' da Straw Hats' captain. Funny how you two are part o' da 'Worst Generation', but your bounty isn't even half of his, just 36,000,000 berries," Vito chuckled. You gave him a look and he checked himself.
"My bounty would be five times his if I paraded around like pirates do, possibly more if I wasn't sanctioned by a Warlord of the Sea from time to time." Vito was at a loss for words, tugging at his collar.
"You mean to say... You've been hired by da World Government??" You just barely nodded.
"But I never said so. Anyhow, where are the Straw Hats now?"
"Uh, they were headed further down the Grand Line last we saw. Long Long Island, Victorian Island, only their log pose knows-" he was interrupted by a commotion at the front door.
"Where's the meat??? The sign says you guys have the best meat!!!"
"Whassa matta wid dat guy?" slurred Vito as he got up. The crooner sang louder, trying to get the enjoyment of the evening back, but everyone was craning their necks to look at the noise. You could just make out the doorman pleading over the club patrons expressing polite outrage.
"Sir we have a dress code here, I'm going to have to ask you to button up your suit-"
"I'm going to be KING of the pirates!!! I want the best meat in the city!!"
Bonk! A young orange-haired woman looming behind the yelling boy had pummeled him with her fist.
"Luffy, just shut up so they let us in!" Like a flip of a switch, she pouted at the doorman, speaking sweetly. "I'm so sorry about that sir, my friend here got a little drunk earlier and he's a big pain to begin with..."
"Stop lying, Nami! I'm not drunk!" shouted Luffy.
"He always says that when he's drunk. You know how it is," winked Nami.
"No problem ma'am, we get that every now and then," replied the doorman far too eagerly. "Welcome to Croony Moony! May I take your umbrellas?" The group with her had already pushed passed him, but an average looking guy(among them, he's the only one wearing a suit that fits and he's the only one smoking) with blonde hair waved to him.
"No need! We have none, thank you, sir." The doorman looked lost once again, unsure of what to do with people that acted like me. A dark haired woman in the group looked all around as they found a larger table for themselves.
"How interesting. It seems that this whole island has adopted the culture of detective novels. You fit in very well, Sanji-kun." The blonde man zipped over to pull out a chair for the woman, his eye under a curly eyebrow turning into a heart.
"Thank you, Robin-swan!!!" he exclaimed. The man then puffed his cigarette and returned to his reserved demeanor. "I hope the sign was right, the king of the pirates might empty their kitchen if he isn't satisfied. At least it won't be my kitchen." He then rushed over to pull out the chair for the other girl. "Allow me, Nami-swan!!"
You tapped into your keen powers of perception and gazed at the next photo, taken from a spy bird. The Straw Hats, going about their business on the deck of their boat. The captain, Luffy, once again sitting on the goat head. Nami, orange hair shining as she adjusted the sail. Robin relaxed with a book while... a third hand stirred her tea, sprouting from the table it sat on. That must be the Flower Flower Fruit; you read about it some time ago. The blonde man, Sanji, offering a platter of snacks to Robin. A small creature, some kind of raccoon dog with antlers sprouting out of a large pink hat at next to a skinny teen in overalls, the two of them fishing together.
You looked up to the rowdy group of pirates continuing to disrupt everyone's evening(which entertained you to no end). There's the long-nosed fellow, but the only one here I don't see at the table is that raccoon dog... The long-nosed guy was chatting with a mysterious beast of a man sitting next to him.
"...and then, the great Captain Usopp commanded his crew to reel in the Kraken! 'It is time for breakfast!' I told them all, and that was the day I had the best sushi!" Ah, so the lying fisherman is Usopp. That huge guy believes every word, what kind of fool is he? I can tell the firaherman is lying from twenty feet away!
"Wow, Usopp! How did it taste??" asked the immense fellow with the voice of a young teen. For someone so large, he sounds almost like a child.
"Well, Chopper, uh... It tasted like... victory!" stuttered Usopp.
"Keep it down, you two!" Nami urged, barely audible. "You'll get us kicked out!" Dammit, now I can't hear them.
So, the beast man's name is Chopper... You then noticed Chopper wore a hat just like the raccoon dog's, pink with antlers. They both also sport a bright blue nose... Chopper is a Zoan type! Also a reindeer... I thought the antlers were part of the hat. No devil fruit you know would give someone a blue reindeer nose, so he must be an actual reindeer that ate a... Human Human Fruit. That's a new one. No human would ever know about it, they would think it was a dud. That book about 'useless' devil fruits might have some more to say about it. You looked for the seventh one, the swordsman you were hired to take care of. There he is in the photo, dozing at the foot of the mast, but you couldn't see a sign of the green-haired menace at the table.
The last photo in the stack was a picture seen on many bulletin boards across the world. You recognize it as the image used in all of his Wanted posters, usually framed by the words "Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. WANTED, Dead or Alive." This must be a copy of the original, the quality was much better than you've ever seen. His angular face was dripping with blood, his steely gaze almost intimidating. This is the one man that might be more unforgivably ruthless than you. Something about that look resounded in your memory, youve seen it before, in person. Up close, but in passing... Until you remember, you have nowhere to look. Except here.
"What a bunch o' weirdos," muttered Vito, taking his seat and a swig of sake. "Pirates... whatcha gonna do. I'm glad Father is gonna bring some class to da seas. Anyway, (Name), those Straw Hats could be anywhere by now."
"I think I have a clue about where they might be," you stated.
"Where?" You showed him the photo of them.
"Great, we know dey're on da Grand Line." Your palm and your face met to discuss your frustration.
"Vito, don't tell me just because those guys are dressed up that you don't recognize them."
"Who?"
"The pirates at the table! Those are the Straw Hats!" Vito was dumbfounded. He peered back at them, then at the photo while you rolled your eyes.
"Oh, yeah." THIS is why I talk to Dragon's friends to get information. Vito is consistently more wasted than helpful. You stared at the empty sake bottle, thinking of a plan while the brain of your pal from the Capone family caught up to the situation.
"Hey, where's dat Zoro guy?" he asked suddenly. You point a finger at him.
"You owe me the answer to that very question," you accused.
"Dose pictures are all we knew before now! Whaddaya want me to do?" You smiled, sending shivers down Vito's spine.
"First, finish that bottle so you get the temptation to have more out of your system." He downed the remainder in a single gulp.
"No prob'm mack. What else?" It's nice having other people do what I say for a change, I need to have more people owe me things.
"Bear with me Vito, 'cause this is a little crazy."
"That's okay, so am I!" Vito guffawed at his own joke. You blinked and politely waited. "Sorry, (Name), I'm listening." You flash a curt smile.
"I need you to chat Luffy up. Welcome the Straw Hats to Marloweville and the island. After you've dispensed all the niceties you can think of, take us outside. Meanwhile... I will be in this bottle, listening in. The crew is sure to discuss their missing crew member. If they don't, I'll vibrate the bottle, and you need to ask them about Zoro, very subtly. Can you do that?"
"Sure, (Name)." Your belief in him is dubious at best, but he's all you have to work with. And you found out the hard way a long time ago that yes, a room full of people will notice a moving puddle. The rich people here will ask someone to mop you up before you trip someone.
"And Vito?"
"Yeah?"
"Please. Don't drink me," you urged.
"Right, of course not." You glared at his flippant expression, as you set the empty bottle under the table.
"Just imagine that the bottle is full of acid."
"Alright, alright! Wait, how are you gonna hear without ears?" You shrugged at him.
"Dunno, I just can. But I still can't swim." You made sure no one was watching, peering lastly at the crooner and ducked under the table. You stick your watery thumb in the bottle, hardly distinguishable from the water form you are becoming. Soon you filled the bottle up to the neck to deter questions. Ugh, even as water, this makes me feel claustrophobic. At least I don't get motion sickness.
Vito snatched up the bottle, looking oddly at it before swaggering and staggering to the Straw Hats' table. The waiter had just dropped off the food, and they are all digging in except for the polite Sanji. The waiter was trying so hard to be kind while their captain inhaled multiple steaks.
"If you pir- people... need anything else, just let me know."
"Thank you for the meal, Richard," Said Sanji to the bowing waiter.
"Mmeah, ffanks, Richy," mumbled Luffy, although you could hardly tell that's what he said. The waiter politely nodded and smiled at him before striding away at top speed. Vito waltzed up to Luffy, who is tackling a tower of steaks. He swung the bottle carelessly at his side, swishing you around.
"Hey dere, my name is Vito Capone. A big welcome to Marloweville from da Capone family! " The group looked at each other, uncertain of this random greeting from a total stranger.
"Who's that?" mumbled Luffy. Vito was confounded, having never heard that phrase before on his own island.
"Oh, we're a group of businessman, like yourselves," he hinted. Luffy had swallowed before he inquired, "You mean pirates?"
"Not quite, The Firetank Gang is on its way there, but we're more da homebody type y'see. This beautiful club, most of the best places uptown are protected by my... associates. As the son of Father Capone, I hope we can agree to keep it that way." The two buffoons looked at each other blankly, unsure of what to say or lacking any more words to say. That last bit was the most eloquent thing you've heard Vito say. The rest of the table sat watching and eating. All of them look worn out. Braving and surviving the White Sea must've been hell.
"Sure, we just came here to eat and relax," stated Luffy.
"Dat's great... uh, enjoy. Oh and watch out for da Iceboat Gang, dey're our rivals. Dey are no good, mack. Stay clear o' dem." Dammit, this isn't working at all, he'll just have to ask. You flexed the tension in your liquid form, vibrating the bottle.
"Oh! I, I uh, almost forgot! Aren't dere, uh, more o' yas?" stammered Vito. I swear gorillas have more tact...
The captain of the Strawhats responded with a hearty "Shishishi!" of laughter.
"Yep but Zoro got lost again!" The boy continued to laugh as he ate. The crew cast knowing looks at each other, giggling. "He's gonna be the best swordsman in the world, but he get's lost whenever he goes anywhere alone!"
"I'm very sorry bout dat, uh... If ya want, I can talk to da boys and have 'em keep an eye peeled for him," offered the 'businessman. The captain beamed a smile at him.
"You're a nice guy Vito! Thanks!"
...ooo00WFW00ooo...
Familiar trees parted the gloom of the swamp, trees that border a small path in the middle of nowhere leading up to your house. You splashed down onto the path and continued on foot. A single light on your porch shone through the gloom, the only sign of life or residence for miles around. Rain pattered through the canopy of tall oak trees covered in moss and vines. Your boots crunched the gravel in rhythm. You tried not to think about the whereabouts of Zoro, all it did was infuriate you. This one last job... This final big job and you could take a break, searching for knowledge. The small abode ahead is well-furnished, but meager in size. The biggest room is dominated with bookcases, chests full of old maps. The kinds of things your old Captain Felix used to horde and gather from every bit of the grand line. All the money you earned, the hundreds, the thousands of berries... Almost all of it resided in the safes of bookshops containing rarer volumes about treasure, the One Piece, and most importantly, Devil Fruits. Your library is likely the best collection of knowledge in the realm of Devil Fruits since Ohara was burned. By carrying on his dream and yours, you honored the memory of Captain Felix.
Reaching your house, you notice a man dozing in your porch chair. He wore a long coat with the collar pulled up. A fedora lie pulled over his eyes, and three katanas sat in his lap. Before you could yell at him, he flipped up his hat and called out to you. His hat had been hiding bright green hair and an angular face with an unmistakable steely gaze.
"Oi, is this your house?"
"Yes, what of it?"
"Some big guys in blue suits went in earlier, claiming this was their house," said the former pirate hunter. "They didn't let me in, but said I could stay on the porch."
The Iceboat Gang. They're after my books again. You pushed your glasses in place.
"They aren't leaving my house alive," you informed him. Your forearm shaped into your Wet Wet Whip, coiling like churning waves in front of you. Zoro smirked, straightened his hat and put the white handle of a katana in his mouth.
"That's all I need to know," grumbled Roronoa Zoro. "Come on, I'll help you take care of them."
Outside the club in an alley between it and a corner store, Vito poured you onto the ground. You turned into a pillar and solidified, rain dotting your dry coat as it fell. You adjusted your glasses and cast a burning scowl at the ground.
"Great, he could be anywhere on the island," you fumed, pacing the sidewalk. The sign for Croony cast glowing reflections on Vito's wet face.
"Hey, at least we know he's here," offered Vito. "All ya gotta do is find him!" You glared at him.
"You and your boys have fun with that, I'm gonna rest up in case you don't find him by morning. Night, Vito." You were so annoyed you jumped into the air and returned to your water form, bouncing off raindrops right above the street. Luckily no one saw you except a defeated drunk gangster.
"Great, he could be anywhere on the island," you fumed, pacing the sidewalk. The sign for Croony cast glowing reflections on Vito's wet face.
"Hey, at least we know he's here," offered Vito. "All ya gotta do is find him!" You glared at him.
"You and your boys have fun with that, I'm gonna rest up in case you don't find him by morning. Night, Vito." You were so annoyed you jumped into the air and returned to your water form, bouncing off raindrops right above the street. Luckily no one saw you except a defeated drunk gangster.
...ooo00WFW00ooo...
Reaching your house, you notice a man dozing in your porch chair. He wore a long coat with the collar pulled up. A fedora lie pulled over his eyes, and three katanas sat in his lap. Before you could yell at him, he flipped up his hat and called out to you. His hat had been hiding bright green hair and an angular face with an unmistakable steely gaze.
"Oi, is this your house?"
"Yes, what of it?"
"Some big guys in blue suits went in earlier, claiming this was their house," said the former pirate hunter. "They didn't let me in, but said I could stay on the porch."
The Iceboat Gang. They're after my books again. You pushed your glasses in place.
"They aren't leaving my house alive," you informed him. Your forearm shaped into your Wet Wet Whip, coiling like churning waves in front of you. Zoro smirked, straightened his hat and put the white handle of a katana in his mouth.
"That's all I need to know," grumbled Roronoa Zoro. "Come on, I'll help you take care of them."
Literature
Zoro x OC: The Marimo And The Mute
(I Do Not own any of the One Piece characters Eiichiro Oda does! I hope all of you enjoy :))
Cassandra was a well mannered, reserved, and quiet young woman, she kept to herself and rarely spoke to anyone, so you can say that it was a little more than strange that she joined one of the most roudiest pirate crews to sail the seas, the Straw Hat Pirates. But she had inevitably helped Luffy reunite with his crew back on Sabaody since it seemed there were more Marines there than anticipated. Luffy reluncatantly asked if she could join his crew since she was not only skilled with her scythe but she also had Devil Fruit abilities that had come in h
Literature
[One Piece] Zoro x Reader - Do Ya
It was a calm day on the thousand sunny. Zoro was the only one on the ship, which meant he could drink and nap without the usual shitty complaints from swirly brows. He climbed down to the deck from the crows nest and walked in blissful silence towards the kitchen.
"Do ya do ya do ya love me -"
Suddenly he heard a noise... As if someone was singing... And it was coming from the kitchen. He opened the door slightly - to see (Y/N) dancing around the kitchen singing into... Is that a spatula? Zoro shook his head, just in case the ero cooks stupidity was starting to get him, and looked again.
"Do ya need a little time?
Do ya do ya do ya w
Literature
Zoro x Reader Nojito
Zoro X Reader Nojito- (A mocktail, spin off of a mojito)
***A/N: I'm sorry this took sooooooooo long to post. This has actually been done for a little while but I had exams which made things complicated. Well Zoro is finally done, and I'm half way through Doffy. (f/n)- first name, (l/n)- last name, (h/c)- hair color, (h/l)- hair length (e/c)- eye color. (Slight sexual implications). This is the Zoro ending to my FanFic Golden. I hope you enjoy!
I slid into an empty seat at the counter and was about to order when I felt those eyes on me again. Only this time when I looked up I met the owner…
Said owner had striking hair the color of
Suggested Collections
The adventures of The Shadow(Wet Wet Fruit user, aka you!) continue in this hefty installment! I apologize that it took so long, but its long, and i wanted to get it just right. In this chapter, WWF and Zoro finally meet! Next chapter is gonna be a cool fight scene mostly. Enjoy!
One Piece is made by Eiichiro Oda, but i write Zoro gay and sexy and noir, just for you! The Shadow is mine however.
Other chapters:
WWF Ch1: Where the Money Takes Me- Wet-Wet Fruit Reader Ch1
WWF Ch2: Back Home- WetWet Fruit Ch2
WWF Ch3: Scroll up!
WWF Ch4: Knowledge of Felix- WetWet Fruit Ch4
WWF Ch5: Trust- WetWet Fruit Ch5
WWF Ch6: Warrior Bond- WetWet Fruit Ch6
One Piece is made by Eiichiro Oda, but i write Zoro gay and sexy and noir, just for you! The Shadow is mine however.
Other chapters:
WWF Ch1: Where the Money Takes Me- Wet-Wet Fruit Reader Ch1
WWF Ch2: Back Home- WetWet Fruit Ch2
WWF Ch3: Scroll up!
WWF Ch4: Knowledge of Felix- WetWet Fruit Ch4
WWF Ch5: Trust- WetWet Fruit Ch5
WWF Ch6: Warrior Bond- WetWet Fruit Ch6
© 2015 - 2024 M4ttintheH4t
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